someone passed away

I am preparing my law summary notes. And, suddenly, I heard the drum sounds. Ya, I know, its the monk who hit on the drum (time to pray, pray and chant for the deceased). And later it followed by a light thunder storm. Ya, it's going to rain (it is raining already). They are sad, that their beloved mother has passed away. And the God is crying.

And it reminded me of my dearest grandpa. He passed away in 2006. It was the 13th day of CNY. I break down, I cried and sat on the floor in the ICU. I have no more grandparents. Ah ma and ah gong are gone. So, noone will share my happiness. I have no grandparents to sit with me in the same table on my wedding dinner. They are not going to ''yum seng'' with me. They are not going to get the allowances from me when I start to work. They are not going to see my babies. They would not be there when I need help and a shoulder. For that very moment, I lose them. Lose people to share happiness and sadness with me. They brought me up and I felt guilty when I recalled for those irrespectful deeds that I have done towards them. But, they have no complaints at all. THEY ARE MY DEAREST BELOVED AH MA AND AH GONG!!!

It is raining now, so meaning that people will not visit the deceased house to pay a last respect? It happened in grandpa's funeral too. Because, grandpa passed away during CNY, and usually chinese would prefer not to attend events that will bring bad luck to them, so called ''pantang''!!! To me, I don't care whether it is a tradition or whatsoever called pantang. What I hoped was only people (I mean it can be anyone who knows my grandpa to come and pay a last respect, I don't even mind if you just walk in and pray and leave) to come and pray grandpa at least A LAST RESPECT. When babies were borned, the parent will have parties or dinners to celebrate the happiness of a new borned baby. But, why not people take the effort to at least step in the house to give a bow. I don't think that it takes a day energy to just step in. Perhaps what I am expecting is just merely a fairness to my grandpa or respect from people from my grandpa or notice fron people that a good man passed away. There wasn't much people on the funeral day as it was ''chap goh mei''. To me, it was really saddening. Because, noone accompany ah gong for his last journey.

Anyway, I am proud of him.

Recalling this incident has made me broke into tears again.

To ah gong: ''take care of ah ma okay. love your always'' From the naughty ah ching!