MY HEART IS CURSING

Smile more often

So that with your happy smile,

I can calm my heart from constantly looking for you

Smile more often

So that the world will be jealous of you

Then my heart, which is constantly calling for you

Wouldn’t turn greedy anymore

Chorus

My heart is cursing because it cant say “I love you”

Tears burst and my yearning is flowing and flowing

The sad words that are stuck in my throat like a torn

Is roaming around my ear all day

Why does it have to be you?

Why did I end up loving you?

Even if I am shaking my head

Even if I try to deny it

Now I cant let go of you

I love you forever even you are not looking at me

You wouldn’t know even when I call your names thousand of times

You wouldn’t know even if I wait at that same place

Like a fool I just look at you, this foolish love

You don’t know no matter how much I call you

totally lost

Ya! Am totally lost. I swear I thought I get over it already when I really chat with you. I really thought like that. That's real. Really really really............Don't know why that I when I was in Penang yesterday night, suddenly I have the strong feeling to see him, to talk to him. The feeling was so so so so so strong. And I got so moody for the whole day till I'm back today. I just feel uneasy. Don't feel like talking. Don't feel like eating. Anything anything. Till I online and he said that he will be getting married. What a thunder like news to me. Wtf!!!!!!!!!!!!!! At that time, I was totally stunned and blank out. I didn't know what to do and still, HC continue to pretend again. Hate myself very much to pretend which eventually hurting myself. If, if if, at that time, I would have said YES, will the outcome be different? I wonder...

Why.... Argh..... damn shit! I am totally lost right now. Have been keep on repeating the song dear charl recommend me - 戴佩妮 - 街角的祝福!..

Why why why................ Why me why me why me!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Penang trip was so so only because of my bloody bad mood. I don;'t know why I got so moody. Was it signalling that something bad will be happening soon. Ya, the bad news I got just now - HE is getting married!!!!

By the way. I am in love with penang and was eyeing on the residences there already.

Penang :(

Why this face? :( Because I'm still sick. However, I'm feeling very much better compare to yesterday. Please please please, I wanna recover before I go penang. Please God.

Am gonna be very busy tomorrow.

1: Got to wake up early morning and sent the car to Bukit Beruntung workshop for service.
2: Till I reach home will be around evening.
3: By the way, go Temple for praying as promised!
4: Catch Little Nyonya drama, hehe. It was my 3rd time watching it.
5: Catch Justice Pao. nice drama!
6: Fetch cousin. She will be staying overnight here.
7: Pack my clothes.
8: Cousins and I planned to get some info first for our penang trip.
9: ......................................... will see how it goes.

Feeling sick

Sneezing, shivering... Am feeling sick. Arghhh...please recover soon because I'm hitting the Penang Island and I'm gonna to eat till the max and enjoy the life at the island there. Yes, HC love Penang gao gao. She even hoped that she can own a piece of land near the beach. But, I knew that there were too many new high rise building around the island, that's quite disappointing to me. No offence. Why its disappointing to me, simply because I just love the quiet-island-but-like-a-city. Recently, with the development there, too many high rise building like the condos were built and it destroyed the nature of the island. Somehow, I still loved Penang very very much. Hahaha....

Cousins and I have been browsing thru the websites to get some ideas where to visit. And of course not to forget, the most waited one, the Peranankan mansion heritage!!! Yayaya, after visiting the one in Melaka, I personally fell in love with the Baba and Nyonya culture very much, hence, the Peranakan mansion musuem is a must visit for me. And also not to forget the much waited new Guan Yin statue at Kek Lok Si Temple. I remember when I visited Penang when I was Form 3, they were just in the process to build that statue and finally, this year, it is ready. Mummy, sister, cousins also raised their hands to say that ''MUST GO''!!. Many more places to go and I would definitely enjoy the days there till maximum. Hehehe....

By the way, God bless me to recover soon please, before I go Penang. I want to eat Rojak, apam balik, char keuy teow, End Of the World Seafood Village, sing k there, shopping and many many many more activities.