After talking to you, realizing that I still have him, but I just pretended that I don't. What's the point lying to yourself, Lau Hui Ching? I really don't know what I want? Should I move on? I'm really in a dilemma.
Still the same question, should I thank you or hate you for telling me the truth that you are close with him and you checked me out just to find out whether what he said is true? I thought that I'm okay with that incident already, I thought that I'm recovering. Always in the recovering status since 4 years ago. I should have move on with my life as what I always says, I enjoy single life. But, do I really enjoy my life currently? Like what you mentioned, am I happy everyday after work and study? My answer is, nothing to be really happy or to be sad life without him! I still have him in my mind, right? Yes, I still have him! Forgetting him to me is something impossible, as I said before that forgetting someone in your life, some more he was someone important to you before, it is impossible. Unless there is someone there to replace him. Who can replace him in my mind?
After the talk, I couldn't concentrate on my work. My mind is only about should I approach him again or start anew with my life and welcome my uni life? I don't want to force myself to think of it, but he kept on appear in my mind. Ya, timing is important. But, I have no courage to face this relationship anymore. I should have agreed that ''to love is to suffer''. Should I believe your words when you were drunk until puke? I have no idea at all because I wasn't there. But then, should I believe what he said is true? Argh............... Its really making me crazy!!! I still have you in my mind, but I am nothing to you anymore.
Last time, there was a question for myself, if you really come back to me one day, will I consider again? My answer is always YES. But, since when I doubted my answer? Again, I don't know!
I knew that you came over that already and have your partner. But, why you still mention about me in front of him. Eventually, he checked on me and dig my sadness and I'm totally pointless now. Keeping your stuff with me is really............. Sigh............................................................
LHC, move on. Your uni life is waiting for you to enjoy it. He is nothing to you anymore. Its over. Whatever happened in the past is no longer worth for you to think of it. Comforting myself...sob...sob....
my favourite - Say It Isn't So by Gareth Gates
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