4 years

I wondered how true are you when you confessed again? Are you confessing or that I'm thinking to much. What stops me...? I don't know. I'm nothing to you anymore right... I still have doubts on your words. 4 years already and whether you are still trustworthy? 4 years already and who are you now? Are you still the one I know? 4 years already, who am I to you? 4 years already, I don't think that I'm important to you again. 4 years already, time flies. its more than 1300 days. Anything can change. But my heart still............................................ where am I actually...................

pretender that hurts herself

After talking to you, realizing that I still have him, but I just pretended that I don't. What's the point lying to yourself, Lau Hui Ching? I really don't know what I want? Should I move on? I'm really in a dilemma.
Still the same question, should I thank you or hate you for telling me the truth that you are close with him and you checked me out just to find out whether what he said is true? I thought that I'm okay with that incident already, I thought that I'm recovering. Always in the recovering status since 4 years ago. I should have move on with my life as what I always says, I enjoy single life. But, do I really enjoy my life currently? Like what you mentioned, am I happy everyday after work and study? My answer is, nothing to be really happy or to be sad life without him! I still have him in my mind, right? Yes, I still have him! Forgetting him to me is something impossible, as I said before that forgetting someone in your life, some more he was someone important to you before, it is impossible. Unless there is someone there to replace him. Who can replace him in my mind?
After the talk, I couldn't concentrate on my work. My mind is only about should I approach him again or start anew with my life and welcome my uni life? I don't want to force myself to think of it, but he kept on appear in my mind. Ya, timing is important. But, I have no courage to face this relationship anymore. I should have agreed that ''to love is to suffer''. Should I believe your words when you were drunk until puke? I have no idea at all because I wasn't there. But then, should I believe what he said is true? Argh............... Its really making me crazy!!! I still have you in my mind, but I am nothing to you anymore.
Last time, there was a question for myself, if you really come back to me one day, will I consider again? My answer is always YES. But, since when I doubted my answer? Again, I don't know!
I knew that you came over that already and have your partner. But, why you still mention about me in front of him. Eventually, he checked on me and dig my sadness and I'm totally pointless now. Keeping your stuff with me is really............. Sigh............................................................
LHC, move on. Your uni life is waiting for you to enjoy it. He is nothing to you anymore. Its over. Whatever happened in the past is no longer worth for you to think of it. Comforting myself...sob...sob....

my favourite - Say It Isn't So by Gareth Gates

pissed off

ARGH~~~~~~~~~~~ I was so pissed off when I saw your message telling me that you knew him!!!
Should I thank you or hate you? I wonder...? Its that a plan? A well-formulated way to approach me and in the end telling me that you knew him? I never thought that the one who approaches me will be the one lying to me, fooling around. Eventually, it hurts me again. Aren't those old stories enough to let me suffer this few years? Aren't you living happily? Why must you check on me? Checking how true the story he said? Its all over right... Why must you dig my sadness.... sob sob

excited!

How can I describe my feelings now? Happy...? Joy...? Excited...? Exactly, I'm so excited when cath wanted to participate for the career fair. Ya, my pleasure, haha. A golden opportunity to expose and gain something that money can't buy, but of course I enjoy though I'm going to be very busy.

Now is 9.45pm and I'm still in the office, doing some preparation for the career fair. Haha, you know what, we decided to participate in this career fair yesterday and now we have 2 days left for the preparation only. Printing brochure, stationery stuff, gifts, etc. Wondering how are we going to suffer for this 2 days...? Colleagues, gambateh ya!!! Lets make it successful.

enjoy it

3rd of May, sunny day, after work, I decided to go Queen's Park for shopping thou I can't get someone to accompany me. So what.. I enjoy shopping alone too. I was so happy when I reached there, and thinking that I must be getting crazy when I enter the shops, haha.

Jiang Jiang Jiang Jiang, this is what I bought. :p

Not enough, not enough, I want to shop again...
Lately, I realised that the money value is getting smaller, 50 bucks seems too little to me. What I am spending is always beyond my limitation. 5 bucks for a lunch is too little, right? Yet, I enjoy spending money, weird person!!! Shopping-my all time favourite. Gathering with friends-20 bucks is not enough!!! Although my income is only that much every month, but I just love to spend. I don't mind having lunch or breakfast in 5-star hotels or a better restaurant. All I know is, I want to enjoy my life. :p

4/5/2008
First time meeting up almost all my classmates(suddenly I realized that my class is so small) after graduation. Since everyone have no idea, then I decided to go the apartment at the curve. We reached there around 3pm and thought of getting the movie tickets but the show time is too late and bhuat got to reach home before 9pm so we just plan to have our lunch at the apartment and spend the time there. First time having my meal there with friends, and the food there is nice, I will rate it 8 out of 10. Chatting with them realizing that I am really not updated. What they are talking seems to be the mathematical symbols to me. All types of the symbols and question marks appeared in my brain. Argh, guys, don't worry. I will join the yum cha session or the so called consultation time. :p
These were the photos we took before leaving:

Miss Lim, don't snap without my permission k, you see, my eye bag is so serious!!! (lack of sleep -lah, keke) Looks fat!

A shot before we leave. (Erm, the table is abit messy) >>Photographer: the waiter

Next shot. Thought of shooting without the flash, but this is the results. Sigh, one more take!

Worst still!!! Bhuat said camera sensitive wor....no comment

AGAIN~~Obviously everyone can't smilenaturally already!

Finally, turn on the flash and this is the last shot! BUT, can't see my eyes! argh~~~~~~~

I missed my form six life so much. Hoping that time can bring me back, though form six life is tough but I enjoyed it! *wink*
We are planing to go sunway for one night stay, haha. Don't think that we are crazy, we were born in KL but staying in selangor's hotel, no big deal! In between, we were sharing the Penang trip with the others who didn't join, and suddenly thinking to organize a trip to Penang again!!! Yea, love Penang so much. Missed our trip there so much. Penang, I'm coming!